Apparently I am hated on two continents. My brother Barry, who lives in Seoul, Korea and is a spy and free-lance assassin for the CIA, tells me his military and ex- military friends over there read my liberal broadsides on Facebook, and despise me to my very core.
This has become a source of pride with me. If only I could be hated in Europe and South America and Australia too! Then I'd be in rare company, with Hitler, Nixon, and Walt Disney.
One guy, an old-school crusty, red-faced, fat-fingered ex master sgt. finds me particularly appalling. Barry reports that he'll see the guy in a bar, and if the guy is staring at Barry for longer than 2 seconds, then that means he's gonna come over and start a conversation with " Did you what your goddamn brother wrote today?" Barry doesn't report whether he defends me or not--I suspect not. But then I wouldn't defend me either.
Barry was home this week, and told me about this, and we plotted out a little scheme--I asked Barry to tell me the one issue that chapped this man's wrinkled old ass more than any other, and he said it was illegal immigrants. So I went on the web, looking for the worst case of illegal immigrant criminality I could find, and after several promising leads (one was a case in which an illegal immigrant shot and killed a man in cold blood, and I thought this might be a winner, but later in the article it's revealed the victim was a pedophile who had messed with the immigrant's under-aged sister--not good enough for my nefarious plans)--I finally found the motherload-- I located a case where an illegal immigrant murdered three people in New Jersey, in premeditated fashion.
So I posted this article to Barry's FB page, along with as many boneheaded liberal comments as I could think of, and my nephew Nathan, who is more liberal than I, chimed in with a few of his own (I had emailed Nathan to tell him about this old master sgt., who hates Nathan too, and it turns out Nathan already knew of him, and calls him Sgt. Non Sequitur)...we are currently awaiting news of the old campaigner's massive stroke.
Barry is in the air, back to Korea, and his clandestine mission to topple Kim Jong il. I expect him to be met at the airport by his CIA handler, a ravishing Korean beauty with some anatomically-based James Bondian name, and one pissed off old master sergeant, trying to articulate his outrage through the profound aphasia his stroke has left him with.
Below is the FB posting--(as you can see, we ensnared one of Barry's friends in our net):
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