Film work

A number of my pals are doing lots of film work these days, which I find healthy, though I don't do much of it myself. It is the present and the future of acting, I believe. Stage is the past, but I feel most comfortable there. Sometimes I feel like Chuck Yeager in the film The Right Stuff--all his contemporaries, the generation behind him, actually, began to move to NASA and the space program, while he stayed with the original test pilot program.

I am not sure why I am so ambivalent about film. I have done one feature and one short, and I had a good time doing them, but I'd be quite happy if I never do another one. I know actors in town who do tons of them, and prefer them to stage (which I don't get AT ALL). Maybe it's the narcissism of seeing your image on screen. There are only a few who are immune to that, I suppose, and that notion must be part of it, I guess. It certainly isn't the money--which is always paltry on the local level, if there is anything at all. And it can't be the quality of the roles, either.

I have turned down so many film offers that word has evidently gotten round, because no one offers me film roles much anymore. I find the scripts to be generally awful, derivative, and bigger than the director's stomachs most of the time. They are written by non-writers, mostly. Very young non-writers, mostly. They are just images on paper, mostly. And so they are easy to turn down. Plus, these young writers tend to write roles for young actors, and have little insight for characters over 25.

I would consider them for more than a few seconds if the roles I have been offered were any good, but they aren't. Usually there is a need for a one-dimensional dad, or boss, and I can't be bothered. I am that way for stage roles too. As I have gotten older, and aged past the first and second rank roles (juvenile, hero/romantic lead), I find that most of the parts (film and stage) for actors my age are what I call the "dad" roles. As the producers of new theatre companies and film companies get younger and younger, they skew their choices toward actors their age. Still, these shows need someone to play the "dad" roles. And, my friends, that ain't me.

It's not ego, at least not entirely. I am pretty level-headed about what roles I am right for, type-wise. And I would be happy to plays dads, if the roles are strong. But the scripts are always about the younger protagonist, and these characters need dads and bosses to feed them cues. And that, as I said before, ain't me.

The way I see it, life is too short to be a supporter of other people's dreams, and I have no interest whatsoever in helping others achieve their goals by giving them whatever meager talents and industry I possess. I have had several offers from filmmakers for a featured role of one scene, and I know they are looking for the best possible actor to play this meaningless bullshit--but that's their dream, not mine. If you want me in your picture or play, it better be a strong role. And I mean a strong role before I see the pages. None of that "we'll work it out as we go along" crap.

Money is one of several motivating factors for me, but it isn't the only one. For me it's mostly been about the roles. Acting takes up a lot of time from your life, and it takes its toll in several, less tangible ways as well, and if I am going to commit to a part, it better have enough juice for me. Lots of people better see it too. Not interested in a doing a film role so your pals can watch it with you on your computer. Not interested in helping a film student with his project. Not even remotely interested in doing low-brow gory horror stories, think pieces where mostly 21 year olds sit in coffee shops and discuss their faux Tarantino-esque takes on life and relationships, half-assed detective stories, hit man stories (and ever since Quentin, it seems all hit men are required to discuss pop culture while wearing black suits and ties)...and...and...and...

So. This post ended at lot more sour than I intended. I suppose the takeaway from this post is that I hear "time's winged chariot hurrying near", and I simply don't have enough life left for anything that isn't pivotal.