Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah nah nah nah hey hey hey--goodbye...

Somewhere in the back of what is laughingly known as his brain, George Bush, in his last press conference, realized he was coming dangerously close to saying " You won't have George Bush to kick around anymore." Is it possible that this man lacks enough sensory apparatus to appreciate there is virtually nothing in the last 8 years he can (or should) look back upon with pride? In fact, given my previous post, an exchange with him would probably sound like this:

" That was. without question, the worst two terms any President ever had, in the history of this great, God-fearing nation!"

"YEAH!"

True Enough Fact #1

No matter how one tries, and I have tried, it is impossible to insult a teenage boy. Actually, you can extend this to a college boy, as well. No matter what you say, they see it as some sort of validation. You can say, " That was without doubt the single stupidest thing I have seen in years!" and what you'll get back is a grin, a fist pump, and a loud " Yeah!" or "Woohoo!" In fact, the more idiotic the action by the teen, and the more acidic reaction from you, the louder the "Yeah!" becomes. Young males are generally untouched by shame.  

" What the fuck were you thinking?"

" Yeah baby!"

"Don't you realize this could affect your life for years to come?"

"Woohoo!"

" Don't you get it, that these old ladies are never going to recover from what you've done?"

"Rock!"

The only way I have found to short-circuit getting the "YEAH!" response, is to finish a comment with a gay reference, i.e., " That was by far the most idiotic display I have ever seen. I bet you're a pretty good ball-licker too"--you might get a " Y...what?"

Fredo II

A recent headline said Alberto Gonzales was going to write a tell-all book about the Bush administration. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this the man who said "I don't recall" 122 times in his Congressional testimony? What kind of book could this be? Obviously, one not too encumbered with facts, which, of course, makes it perfect for the Bush Library.

Fredo

This man actually dishonors the name of Fredo:

Fredo Speaks

Alberto Gonzales has decided to insert himself, on New Year’s Eve, no less, into the running for most tone-deaf political statement of 2008: “I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror." Gonzales, or “Fredo,” as he was known to President Bush, gives The Wall Street Journal his most extensive interview since he stepped down as attorney general in September 2007. "What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?" he asks. "For some reason, I am portrayed as the one who is evil in formulating policies that people disagree with.” Gonzales said he is writing a memoir "for my sons, so at least they know the story." He does not yet have a publisher. 

From the Wall Street Journal

The Case Against Philadelphia

I will be looking for examples to support the contention that among the great shitpiles of the earth, Philly rests at the top of it all...this arises from my friend Button's horror story of her day in the Philly airport...

the latest is that this "gentleman" shot a guy for talking in a movie theatre. Evidently, there were deep nuggets of wisdom in the dialogue of Benjamin Button the man needed to absorb, and a father talking to his son on a christmas movie excursion was getting in the way of that knowledge. Here is the face of Vile-adelphia:

 

Slumdog

Just saw Slumdog Millionaire...still processing it, which in itself is a rarity re: most films I see these days. I told Dani toward the end that this may well be one of the best films I've seen in years. Just a wonderful fantasy picture--full of horrible realities--and is terrific in every detail. It is one of the reasons we go to films--escapist plot, engaging characters, clever storytelling...Mark sez check it out! 

Bush League II

From The London Times...

The London Times’ Charles Bremner has identified one positive aspect of President Bush’s foreign policy legacy:

With Russian tanks only 30 miles from Tbilisi on August 12, Mr. Sarkozy told Mr. Putin that the world would not accept the overthrow of Georgia’s Government. According to [Sarkozy’s chief diplomatic adviser, Jean-David] Levitte, the Russian seemed unconcerned by international reaction. “I am going to hang Saakashvili by the balls,” Mr. Putin declared.

Mr. Sarkozy thought he had misheard. “Hang him?” — he asked. “Why not?” Mr. Putin replied. “The Americans hanged Saddam Hussein.”

Mr. Sarkozy, using the familiar tu, tried to reason with him: “Yes but do you want to end up like [President] Bush?” Mr. Putin was briefly lost for words, then said: “Ah — you have scored a point there.”

Nice...

Bush League I

I have no way of proving this to you, but I predicted at least 4 years ago that when George Bush leaves office, he will sell his Crawford ranch and move to Dallas. And it was just announced that he was going to do that very thing.

The ranch was a prop that he bought in 1999,  in the successful attempt (obviously) to glom on some of the Reagan ranch thing. The difference is Reagan lived in his ranch before he was President, retired there, and died there. It was his home. Bush bought his own ranch just before announcing for President, so he could look like a rugged western rancher, and not the Dallas city boy he always was. He even stole the photo op setup from the Reagan years, in which he was seen wearing rugged western gear, and chopping cedar--just a cowboy gettin' away from all them city folk and doing what he'd rather be doing--fixin' up the ole homestead, takin' care of the ole honeydo list.

I don't know why it pisses me off, but it does. The man is utterly inauthentic. Rather like his dad. A carpetbagger. An empty windbreaker. Shallow--stand him sideways and you can't see him. Counting down the days, hours and minutes till he's gone.

hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Twivg7GkYts

This is brilliant!

Whoville

Watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas this evening, I was struck by how obvious it was that the little village of Whoville, nestled in the valley of a far mountain range, was in reality a  fundamentalist Mormon enclave. Remote from the prying eyes of the federal authorities, these Whos feel safe inside their 6 house compound--safe enough to go by the same last name, without hiding behind the aliases other sects do. Notice how similar all the houses are--designed and built by the same hands, and decorated collectively by all the sister-wives of the Mayor of Whoville.

Need more evidence? All the Who children look alike--they are all related, of course. The whole town (read: family) eats together. The valley is appears to be in the remote mountain regions of Utah. They celebrate the Christian Christmas, but yet seem to share a peculiarly individual brand of religious worship. The Mayor (or should I say, Prophet) holds a powerful sway over the community.

The Grinch? Obviously shunned by the family for imperfect religious practices. Perhaps, in the Whos own brand of worship, dogs are considered unclean, and the Grinch refused to part with Max.  And so he brooded, high above the compound, close enough to hear them during family services, yet unable to extricate himself from the hell of ostracization.

So what does he do? He strikes back, during a sacred time. But his former immersion in the cult has been too deep. The rhythms of their lives together have vibrated too strongly inside him--he abandons his revenges, and rejoins the Whos. And Max? Well, the roast beast seemed a little too fresh, to my way of thinking--a sacrifice--the cult's price for the Grinch's rehabilitation.