Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
10 Addictive Bad Movies
This is a somewhat different list--it reveals more about you than listing your favorite movies--you must list 10 films that, whenever you flip channels and come across them, you have to stop and watch them. Very often these movies aren't Oscar caliber--(who really wants to watch The Piano ever again, anyway?)--but run-of-the-mill, or even, BAD movies...and tell us why they are addictive...
1. Demolition Man--Stallone, Snipes, Bullock--I can't help it, I am powerless before this movie...
2. Oscar--Stallone (again), an attempt at a 30's style screwball comedy, and Tim Curry in his second campiest role...add these together and you have 90 minutes you'll never get back--every damn time it's on...
3. That Thing You Do!--I have been threatened with death if I ever so much as pause for 2 seconds on this film, while surfing...
4. Starship Troopers--again, powerless before it...
5. The Band Wagon--Fred Astaire, the goddess that is Cyd Charisse--this actually is a pretty good film, until it decides it has spent way too much time on plot and story, and just ends in about 150 musical numbers in a row ...TCM has been playing it a lot lately, and I am down with it every time...I even have it DVR'd, but that doesn't seem to make a difference...
6. Idiocracy--about 1/2 brilliance, 1/2 dreck, but if its a choice between this film and The English Patient on the next channel, you know where my surfing stops...
7. Anything with Elvis in it--what can I say--I am not proud of it...
8. Field of Dreams--this is actually a fine movie, but I have watched it so many times, and will watch it countless more times, that my darling wife actually has a seizure when she sees it on the TV-- it is a male chick flick, I get that--" People will come, Ray, people will most definitely come...and watch this speech over and over and over and over again...and sob every time...
9. Natural Born Killers--below-average acting, Oliver Stone at his most self-indulgent, pretentious and obvious in its ...oh, let's call it "theme"...but, Micky and Mallory, if you are on, I am right there with you, hating myself every .4 second shot length along the way...
10. The Matrix--Before you can say anything--NO! It is not a good movie--the acting is either terrible or non-existent, the actors mostly just pose-- the dialogue reads like it was written by a fanboy who had to write an extra-credit project for his remedial english class--the logic of the universe they've created breaks down completely if you let yourself think about it for more than 5 seconds (which is 4 more than it deserves)-- Keanu Reeves-- way too much slow motion-- far more than their fair share of sunglasses ( the next three movies that studio put out had no sunglasses in them at all, because the Matrix took em all...true story--Carrie Ann Moss looks like Keanu Reeve's mother, or at least his hot math hot teacher--Joe Pantoliano--ok, that thing I said about using up all the sunglasses? OK, that wasn't a true story, but consider this: what if it was?--all this stuff is on the negative side. And what's on the positive side, you ask? Well, after some 107 viewings, I've yet to find something, but I will, I promise, just give me a few more years of viewing...
1. Demolition Man--Stallone, Snipes, Bullock--I can't help it, I am powerless before this movie...
2. Oscar--Stallone (again), an attempt at a 30's style screwball comedy, and Tim Curry in his second campiest role...add these together and you have 90 minutes you'll never get back--every damn time it's on...
3. That Thing You Do!--I have been threatened with death if I ever so much as pause for 2 seconds on this film, while surfing...
4. Starship Troopers--again, powerless before it...
5. The Band Wagon--Fred Astaire, the goddess that is Cyd Charisse--this actually is a pretty good film, until it decides it has spent way too much time on plot and story, and just ends in about 150 musical numbers in a row ...TCM has been playing it a lot lately, and I am down with it every time...I even have it DVR'd, but that doesn't seem to make a difference...
6. Idiocracy--about 1/2 brilliance, 1/2 dreck, but if its a choice between this film and The English Patient on the next channel, you know where my surfing stops...
7. Anything with Elvis in it--what can I say--I am not proud of it...
8. Field of Dreams--this is actually a fine movie, but I have watched it so many times, and will watch it countless more times, that my darling wife actually has a seizure when she sees it on the TV-- it is a male chick flick, I get that--" People will come, Ray, people will most definitely come...and watch this speech over and over and over and over again...and sob every time...
9. Natural Born Killers--below-average acting, Oliver Stone at his most self-indulgent, pretentious and obvious in its ...oh, let's call it "theme"...but, Micky and Mallory, if you are on, I am right there with you, hating myself every .4 second shot length along the way...
10. The Matrix--Before you can say anything--NO! It is not a good movie--the acting is either terrible or non-existent, the actors mostly just pose-- the dialogue reads like it was written by a fanboy who had to write an extra-credit project for his remedial english class--the logic of the universe they've created breaks down completely if you let yourself think about it for more than 5 seconds (which is 4 more than it deserves)-- Keanu Reeves-- way too much slow motion-- far more than their fair share of sunglasses ( the next three movies that studio put out had no sunglasses in them at all, because the Matrix took em all...true story--Carrie Ann Moss looks like Keanu Reeve's mother, or at least his hot math hot teacher--Joe Pantoliano--ok, that thing I said about using up all the sunglasses? OK, that wasn't a true story, but consider this: what if it was?--all this stuff is on the negative side. And what's on the positive side, you ask? Well, after some 107 viewings, I've yet to find something, but I will, I promise, just give me a few more years of viewing...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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